Weather in Brum Where The Sun Always Shines On The Blues.

Thursday 19 September 2013

America and the UK share all intelligence with the Israelis.

A model of the GCHQ headquarters in Cheltenham
A model of the GCHQ headquarters in Cheltenham (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
I was surprise to read this in the Guardian, as to my certain knowledge GCHQ has been doing the same since at least 1974. I am sure this will come as no surprise to those totalitarian, demonic and undemocratic states like Bahrain and Saudi Arabia, who are our blood brothers but I objected, after I had been told that my intelligence analysis was being sent to the Israelis. And someday soon I will take GCHQ to court for making me commit war crimes, without my knowledge,  that may have resulted in the deaths of Palestinians and other arabs. I was immediately transferred after refusing to do further work in this area, on grounds of conscience, but I've no doubt that this all fits with this government's policy towards the "Dirty Arab"
References: M. J. , K38
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Birmingham City F. C.

 We once signed a Serbian striker named Nikola Zigic for 6 million quid. He is a useless, lazy git who rarely scores goals and is screwing us for £60k a week. He is constantly injured with groin strains or a bad back and I wonder if his Mrs - Ivana - is the cause. Any way I wish they would both go back home and stop us from the threat of administration, or the ability to bring in some decent players. Ivana is a model but is obviously enjoying her life here living on the hard earnt cash of the Blues supporters - see what I mean?




Wednesday 18 September 2013

Crudity.


THE GREAT FARTING CONTEST
I'll tell you a ditty that's certain to please
Of a great farting contest at Wyndham on seas
Where all the great arses paraded in fields
To partake in a contest for various shields

Some lifted their arses and farted the scale
Competing for cups and a barrel of ale
While others whose arses where biggest and strongest
Past into the finals for loudest and longest

The ladies event had drawn such a crowd
And the betting was evens on Mrs. Macloud
A report had appeared in the evening edition
That this ladies arse was in perfect condition

The vicar arrived and ascended the stand
And briefly addressed the remarkable band
The contest is on as you've seen by the bills
We've excluded the use of injections and pills

The ladies lined up for the signal to start
And winning the toss Mrs. Jones took first fart
The people stood gasping in silence and wonder
And the radio manager gave warning of thunder

Young Mrs. Pat Hole then came to the front
And started by doing a remarkable stunt
With legs wide open wide she clenched both her hands
And blew off the roof in the popular stands

Now old Mrs. Birch had a perfect backside
With a large bunch of hair and a wart on each side
She fancied her chance of winning with ease
Having trained on a diet of cabbage and peas

Now blond Mrs. Belcher was sure of a place
For only last Sunday she'd been in disgrace
By dropping a fart which out rumbled the organ
And gassing the verger our dear Mr Morgan


Miss. Pimple arrived to roars of applause
And quickly proceeded to pull down her drawers
Although she'd no chance in the fashion array
She'd the prettiest arse seen for many a day

For Mrs Macloud everything went amiss
She'd been drinking weak tea and was all wind and piss
She took up her stand with her leg open wide
And unfortunately shit so disqualified

The next was Mrs. Smith who shyly appeared
And smiled at the crowd who lustily cheered
Although it was thought her chances were small
She astounded the crowd and out farted them all

With hands on her hips she stood farting alone
And folks were amazed at the sweetness of tone
The judge then declared without hindrance or pause
First prize for Mrs. Smith please pull up your drawers

She walked to the rostrum with maidenly gait
To receive from the vicar a set of gold plate
She turned to the crowd who had started to sing
And farted the first verse of God Save the Queen.
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Monday 9 September 2013

Robin Cook's Legacy to the people of the United Kingdom.

 Much has been said about the recent parliamentary vote that prevented the U.K. from getting involved in military action in Syria, and all credit is due to those in The Labour Party, who refused to follow their leader and the Tory and Liberal rebels (few though they were) who won a great parliamentary victory against the masters of war. I have, however, not heard one word about the man who introduced the legislation which forces the Prime Minister to consult parliament before we go to war. May you rest in peace Robin, for being a brave man who resigned from the Labour Government following the war criminal Tony Blair's decision to  invade  Iraq, but subsequently introduced the legislation which gives parliament the ultimate decision before we go to war.