Birmingham City F. C.

 We once signed a Serbian striker named Nikola Zigic for 6 million quid. He is a useless, lazy git who rarely scores goals and is screwing us for £60k a week. He is constantly injured with groin strains or a bad back and I wonder if his Mrs - Ivana - is the cause. Any way I wish they would both go back home and stop us from the threat of administration, or the ability to bring in some decent players. Ivana is a model but is obviously enjoying her life here living on the hard earnt cash of the Blues supporters - see what I mean?